FETISH NOIR:
ALTERNATIVE SEX GAMES
FOR YOUR INNER WILD CHILD
by
Jack Fritscher

Fetish Noir is a taste for something
that isn't sex itself,
but that causes your sexual response...

Talk to me, Fetish Boy! Whatever turns you on! Sex lib goes into the mondo beyondo because you need no partner but Viagra. Forget Breeder Sex. In this brave new world, fertility clinics take care of that messy business with turkey basters in the petrie dish. Congratulate yourself! You are a free man. You are liberated from providing seed and cash. Now you live on the cusp of Y2K considering post-millenial eroticism that pleases your Inner Wild Child. Fetish replaces sex.

Fetish noir means you are free to get your nut however you please.

You may be straight or bi or gay. Don't worry. Be happy. If you turn your focus to your most noir fetish, you won't need Viagra, because "wet dreams may cum" when you admit your turn-on is beyond the old norms of insertion sex.

You know your best sex is masturbation. Nobody does it better. That's why your Inner Wild Child likes magazines and videos and live nude shows. Even when you're kneeling (actually or virtually) before your Mistress or your Master, you know that every caress, garterbelt, jockstrap, whiplash, boot, and shoe is aimed at getting you off in your hand. Every hooker and hustler in the world knows that's all you want.

Fetish noir focuses on your favorite sex partner: you. And whatever turns you on. Your human body has forty-nine miles of nerves. So there's a lot more of you than six or seven inches of dick.

A fetish, in case you're dazed and confused, is an object that a person (you) or a culture (television, magazines, etc.) invests with sexual power.

For instance, TV news made a fetish of Monica's blue dress, and TV sports made a fetish of McGwire's balls. A lot of people actually would like to cum all over that dress, those balls!

Fetish noir, just so you know, is your own private Idaho of a turn-on, something so personal to you that maybe the only place you can find it is hidden in the code of magazine ads–say, where a girl in a bra (or a guy in his Calvin's) with a cigaret hanging from wet lips looks hot sending you a subliminal message about sex. Try to recall the "forbidden feeling" of jerking off as a kid to the underwear/lingerie pages in the Sears Catalog.

Check out one of fetish noir's coolest movies, A Man in Uniform (1996), which is legit Hollywood and not porno, unless–very much like the hero–you're turned on by a cop uniform with boots, keys, badge, and gun. (Notice all the handcuffs used to "fetish up" movie sex scenes!) One of fetish noir's most shocking films, The Night Porter, twists on a Jew fetishizing Nazi regalia. Fetish noir is more psychological than a Hitchcock movie. Fetish goes deeper than sex, which can be quite mindless, and actually satisfies the mind. Go figure!

Fetish noir involves all your senses. Some fetishes you watch, some you wear, some you smell. And some...you eat. (Don't ask!)

Sex liberation leads from breeder sex onwards to adventure. Just as controversial erotic photographer Robert Mapplethorpe fetishized black men, porno videos often make fetishes of ethnic groups, because in the truth of porn demographic studies, progressive producers know that bored with fetishized blonds, viewers will have an appetite for fetishized Latins. Madonna herself, in the fetishistic corsets of Truth or Dare, traded in the Irish Sean Penn for the Latin man who seeded Lourdes. Max Julien's Marcostudio and Kristian Bjorn's entire video careers make a fetish of Brazilians for Anglos bored with Anglos who can't get it up. Palm Drive Video, which fetishizes American men, specializes in hyper-masculine fetishes: leather, body hair, tit torture, and worship of the muscles of naked bodybuilders. Many Y2K videos, stepping out beyond generic suck/fuck action, fetishize a variety of stuff, like, for instance, Samurai Video's pregnant Japanese women in bondage.

Hey! Fetish noir demands you be open-minded!

Fans of fetish noir gotta love the media for delivering by cable and satellite, not only the prison fetishes of the series Oz, but the delights of boxing gear on battling gals and Ultimate Fighting guys who are living fetishes of macho in a culture that censors and censures raw masculinity which the politically correct have themselves fetishized as a bad thing.

Jokester jockster Dennis Rodman popularizes fetishes of tattoos, piercing, body-shaving, and cross-dressing. The cover of Cigar Aficionado mag fetishizes Linda Evangelista and Chuck Norris smoking big Havanas. Sportscaster Marv Albert's once-secret sex life included a taste for fetish noirisms such as threesomes, women's lingerie, and biting. Actually, talk shows are the educational TV of fetish noir, with exhibitionistic topics like "Adult Babies in Diapers," "Vacuum-Pump Penis Enlargement," and "Lap Dance Sex Addiction." If you haven't thought of the latest kink, tune in Jerry Springer.

Hey, if you can jerk off to it, and it's not missionary sex to make babies, it's probably fetish noir sex!

Internet sex is totally fetish noir. You watch an image and hear a voice of someone who is not there. You can't have the real person who is on screen, but you can buy their actual (used) panties, fishnets, jockstraps, whatever, to sniff and rub and stuff in your mouth. Like the sexy "Chat Rooms," Classified Ads in small newspapers and magazines have always been more about fetishes than actual sex. If you placed a Classified Ad offering "dirty bath water in Mason jars," by the following Wednesday, your mailbox would be full of eager players who suddenly are turned on by the noir-ness of your invented fetish. So go for it.

The British fetishize spanking. The Miss America contest fetishizes the combo of swimsuits and high heels. The tobacco industry fetishizes smoking. Detroit fetishizes cars. The NRA reveals the absolute fetish of guns. Suck my lethal weapon, baby! How perfect in an age when unsafe sex is fetishized by voyeurs who want to see penetration bare-back, and when another crowd of participants makes a fetish out of condoms and latex clothes!

Hey, ya gotta love fetish noir, because it comes from the deepest, darkest kinks of the human cortex. Fetish noir is recreational sex indulged in at perfection.

Culture cannot control fetish, because fetish is so personal it is not recognizeable by the Puritans who always want to control sex which they perceive as missionary procreational sex.

Fetish noir like beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Once upon a time, leather and lace and motorcycles and bondage and watersports were the obvious fetishes. Now that everyone has Been There And Done That, you are free to rev your vibrator to everything from fisting and sadomasochism to reading porno on the toilet wearing nipple clamps, a dildo, and a French maid's uniform.

Sex has been rescued.

Fetish noir sex is now what you do to please your Inner Wild Child.

Fetish noir is that little something that always pops up in the back of your head that's almost unnoticed but always necessarily there to make you cum–like, maybe, a buzz of bondage.

Fetish noir sex is the place where, when you go there, you get to be yourself.

FETISH NOIR
Vol 1, #1, 1998
by Jack Fritscher