• This entire feature "Hair-Balling" is also available in Acrobat pdf.
• Author's historical introduction
• Actual feature article as published
• Illustrations

Researchers: If quoting from the Hirsute Newsletter contained only in this article, please footnote your quotation: “From the Hirsute Club Newsletter as found in the feature article by Jack Fritscher, ‘Hair-Balling,’ California Action Guide, November 1982, posted at www.JackFritscher.com”

“DAVE: Hairy trucker with sleeper cab,
24, 6-2, 147, 9 uncut inches, ex-USN,
tattooed, raunchy and kinky. Lotsa pit
 and crotch hair, pierced cock, hot sphincter.
Am VERY HAIRY. Dig both furry or
smooth hair-ballers!”

            If ads like that put a twitchy finger on your hair trigger, you’re gonna have to comb your teeth after you get into the HIRSUTE STUD RANCH. This HAIR FETISHIST CLUB is a national organization of Furballers into wild and wooly mansex. Now two years old, the Hair Club, headquartered in Daly City, is for Manimals who are hairy, and for men who worship well-upholstered male faces, chests, bellies, pits, backs, legs, feet, and crotch bushes.

            If you’re hairy, or if you get off on thick, matted animal hair, then you’re within a hair’s-breadth of wishing the Hirsute Stud Ranch had a midnight toll-free 800 number!

HAIRY BEARS AND BEAR-CHASERS:

HUNTING IN THE TRUE HOMOMASCULINE PRESS

            Actually, this mail-and-phone directory of fair-haired boys and dark, furry men is a fetish idea whose time has come. The bi-monthly Hirsute Newsletter is one of those underground publications that tells you more really what homomasculine men are truly doing than does the Sadvocate with all its middle-class censorshihp of heavy-duty sextrips, selling its gay little soul, deniying dicks exist, in order to woo the lucrative straight, commercial advertising base of cigaret-and-liquor accounts.

            If E. T., for instance, read the Sadvocate, to access a profile of homosexuals, he’d be led to believe we’re all pretty much nice, soft, homogenized, bourgeois consumers who are careful not to scare the horses which the John-Waynes-Who-Judge-Us put between their legs.

            How you gonna get Sex-Truth-For-Men from a commercially co-opted, politically correct rag like the Sadvocate whose last sharp editorial bite was to chomp off its own homomasculine balls?

            The hottest male shit being published in the 80s is more often than not created on some dedicated dude’s kitchen table. (Cigar Studs Newsletter, Box 20604, Seattle, WA 98102, is another Xeroxed sex-n-fetish shitsheet that comes to mind. Send a buck for information and application.)

NATIONWIDE HAIR-SPLITTING ROSTER

            Daly City “Bob” [Veet Manu] is founder and publisher of the Hirsute Stud Ranch Newsletter, or the Hair Club Newsletter. He lists a couple hundred Fur Sports fans whose Hair Roster ads he groups together as specifically as:

            o Hairy/Furry, Prefer Hairy Partner

            o Hairy/Furry, No Preference

            o Not Hairy, Prefer Hairy/ Furry Partner

            Bob’s hair-splitting classifications plait every possible combination of Bears and Bear-Chasers. His listings feature Bay Area and nationwide Hairballers, and offeres a total variety of mansex trips mixed in with the whole nine yards of the hair of the mandog who bit you.

REALLY BIG HAIRY DEAL!

            The Hair Club Newsletter, like most small publications created out of a passion for men, and not drummered out with a lust for cash, us a nonprofit operation kept alive by its ardent members. To whet your prurient interest, some Hair Club members’ sample ads are reprinted here, necessarily deleting, because of deference both to discretion and to Bob’s exclusive listing, real names, real addresses, and real phone numbers. The contents of the ads, however, are very authentic!

BACHELORS #1:
HAIRY/FURRY, PREFER HAIRY PARTNERS

            ALAN: 5-6, 160, weightlifter with medium-hairy HARD CHEST, THICK ARMS, dig super-hairy legs and SMELLY, JUNGLE HAIRY PITS TO LICK OUT!

            BOB: 32, 6, 210, thick 7 inches cut with big head. Hairy chest and belly, beard, horny, visual-verbal, turcker-type, french a/p, greek a/p, mutual JO, FACESITTING, phone JO, groups, photos.

            JOHN: 30, 5-6, 130, very hairy chest, belly, balls, and asshole. Uncut with long, loose foreskin. Into men covered with lots of fur.

            KENT: 34, 5-9, 148, masculine, muscular, aggressive, hairy chest, furry legs and butt, trim beard, uncut 9 inches. Muscular, furry, receptive rear. Versatile man seeks same. Kiss-and-cuddle a plus. Flip-flop a must!

            MIKE: 26, 5-9, 140, long, dark hair, beard, hairy front and ass. Love long, RUSTIC MOUSTACHES AND BEARDS AND FORESTED CHESTS.

            MAC: 39, 6-1, 170, muscular, hairy from head to foot, beard. HOT NIPPLES. 69, deep throat, mutual fucking. PISS.

            JIM: 29, 6-1, 170, uncut inches. FORMER COP. Hairy all over. Moustache. Greek active. Seeks hot sessions with hairy hunks.

            RANDALL: 6, 225, 7 inches cut, BALDING, beard, HAIRY FROM NECK TO ANKLES WITH VERY THICK, BLACK, SILKY HAIR.

            Tom: 38, 6-1, 180, thick moustache, VERY HAIRY, MUSCULAR CHEST. Like to PUMP MUSCLES UP AND RUB HAIRS.

BACHELORS #2:
HAIRY/FURRY, LIKE BOTH HAIRY AND SMOOTH PARTNERS

            RAY: 30 , hot, hairy, sensuous, FACE-SITTER TOP. Loves long, wild sessions. Blonds a plus!

            SID: 42, 508, 7.5 cut. Very hairy, especially chest, back, legs with very MUSCULAR THIGHS. Handsome. Collegiate looking.

            VINCE: Covered with long, thick, black hair, top-to-bottom and front-to-back.

            BRUCE: 38, 5-10, 15-0, good looking, well built, very hairy chest, belly, legs, and pits. 8 inches cut. Hot, versatile TOP into most scenes. Heavy body contact in hot sessions.

            MIKE: 41, 6-2, 215, bearded. I’m extremely hairy and love a guy’s tongue rubbing and wetting down every hair that I have. I like to take his face in my hands and pull him to me so that his wet tongue is lapping at the thick growth on my chest, stomach, and bush. I love to see my cock disappear into a sucking mouth while the dud is looking up at my fuzz, rubbing his hands across my chest while sucking all my juices out.

            PHIL: 34, 6-1, uncut 8.5, dark complexion. THICK, MATTED, BLACK HAIR ALL OVER. TATTOOED. Love to fuck and have my fur worshiped and licked.

            GINO: Very hairy. WRESTLING. BOXING. JO. Toys. Sex fantasies.

BACHELORS #3:
NOT HAIRY, PREFER HAIRY/FURRY PARTNERS

            BILL: 38, 5-8, 180, biker/leatherman, full black beard, 8 inches with good bush. Prefer big (230+) hairy, bearded men. Your photo gets mine.

            MARC: 41, 5-8, 160, beard, dark hair, hot TOP MAN into getting RIMMED and into naked fun with furry guys. Mutual JO.

            WD: Blond, hairless guy loves to worship hairy males with special emphasis on armpits, crotches, assholes. Special treatment for UNIFORMED studs.

            ROBERT: 35, 5-8, 150, very smooth Latin. Black beard, 8 uncut inches. Horny. French a/p. Greek active. Always ready.

            GARY: 31, 5-11, 155, hairy lets and ass, good-looking, beard, will tongue your entire hairy body into sensual ecstasy. ULTIMATE TURN-ON IS EATING YOUR HAIRY ASS!

            DENNIS: 32, moderately hairy, endowed; stocky, athletic build. Imaginative, sensitive, versatile. Loves furry men, dirty talk, play, cuddling.

            DAN: 38, 5-10, 160, MUSCULAR, 6 inches, french a/p. Likes to please BRAWNY, HAIRY MEN with TREE-TRUNK THIGHS and SLIM, HAIRY ASSES.

            R. C.: 31, 6, 190, BIG AND MUSCULAR, 7 inches cut, fairly smooth, loves to fuck with and hear from/trade pics with hairy men, especially stocky builds in their 40’s and 50’s.

            WALTER: Super-hairy men given special attention by this blond, 42, guy who loves pubic, crotch, asshole, and pit hair more than anything in the world. I’m shaved. Sit on my face.

GREAT HAIRY PIX AND HAIRY CAVEMAN PARTIES

            The Hirsute Newsletter keeps readers up-to-date with all the latest magazines, straight and otherwise, which feature pix of hairy men in their issues. In addition, the artwork of Hair Club member Ken, as featured here, appears regularly in the roster. So also do offers of hot photo sets of especially hairy men.

            A very fraternal note: the Hair Club is more than correspondence. Members often host CAVEMAN PARTIES that are known as wild, hot times among all the Daddy Bears, Baby Bears, and Bear Chasers who’ve had the good luck and good sense to get it together and get it on!

            Interested in joining The Hirsute Stud Ranch Hair Club? For more information, send your self-addressed, stamped, business-length envelope, with your ads, messages, ideas, and suggestions to BOB, PO Box 3271, Daly City, CA 94105. Be fair, guys, in these rough times for small publishers. Include a few bucks donation for this nonprofit pleasure organization. The Hair Club gives you manstuff you can’t get anywhere else.

NEW, HAIRY SFPD RECRUIT

            There’s one very hairy, muscular, Italian, new SFPD cop we know of who likes to gear himself up in fur leggins and furry horned headmask, and be worshiped like the hairy, dionysian, goat-footed god, Pan.

            So who knows, ambushed in the forests of manbush, what hair-raising adventures await you!

© 1982, 2003 Jack Fritscher